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Welcome
to The Complete Adventures of Space Pig!
Space Pig was getting an ice-cream sandwich, but he forgot to close the freezer
door, and all his food spoiled. CAN SPACE PIG SURVIVE? Space Pig did not know
if he could survive. Could he survive without food or not? He did not know,
so he decided to go to Space Wend. Space Wend is a restaurant. "I can eat there,"
he thought. So he went to Space Wend. When he got to Space Wend, he found out
that they did not have any crunchy burritos! This made him VERY angry, so he
decided he wanted crunchy chicken, but it cost $20. That was too much, so he
went to another restaurant. At the other restaurant, it was horrible quality,
so he left. He died of starvation.
He then resurrected, and Space Pig to a party, everyone had a good time, and
then they left. His co-workers were very happy to see him. "I am VERY hungry!"
he said. They said, "We do not have any food! We are starving" Just then, a
pizza flew onto the table. After he ate pizza, Space Pig wanted dessert. Ice
cream sounded good, So he and his friend Solar Snake went to Pluto in search
of SNOW ICE CREAM! They traveled in Space Pig's A-35, and got there in 45 minutes.
Solar Snake made a miscalculation as a huge fog came smash into Pluto! Solar
Snake said, " I cannot see because of the fog!" After the crash landing, Space
Pig and Solar Snake crawled out of the damaged A-35, and found a Snow Ice Cream
shop. Space Pig's favorite flavor was on sale for 1 cent a gallon. Space Pig
ate 88 gallons. After that he burped. BURP. Then he felt MUCH better.
The problem now was, being stuck on Pluto with a broken A-35. " I have an idea",
said Solar Snake. Solar Snake said, "Is the motor still good?" Space Pig said
Yes. "Maybe we can go look in the junk yard and maybe, we can find a small space
ship" said Space Pig. Solar Snake said, "It's worth a try!" But it was hard.
The situation looked desperate, because all that was in the junkyard was Honda's
and Ford's. Space Pig had a brainy idea. He said, "We can do this the fun way.
We'll build our own space F-14!" Solar Snake said, " We can buy the metal needed
at Pluto Mart" At Pluto-Mart, they went to the hardware department. The metal
they needed cost $10,000. Solar Snake took a $10,000 dollar bill out of his
pocket and paid for all of it. They were SO smart they could put the whole spaceship
together in 4 hours. After that Space Pig and Solar Snake then went to Pluto
Mart and bought a map of the galaxy. According to the map, the spaceport was
4 million miles away. So they went to the in-and-out and got 1 google gallons
of gas. As they blasted off, they had a power failure. Solar Snake prayed. Instantly,
power was restored. Space Pig set a course to get to the spaceport. In no time
at all, they were safe at the spaceport.
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Solar Snake was trying to decide what to get Space Pig for Christmas. After
the expenses of the trip to Pluto, he only had $2. Then he had an idea. He knew
it would have to be less than $2. He also knew Space Pig loved Silly Putty.
It was at the gift store for $1.50. So he went to the gift store and got some.
Space Pig was at the same time looking for a present for Solar Snake. He knew
Solar Snake liked to doodle with remote control cars, so he got one. Solar Snake
was very pleased. Solar Snake's present to Space Pig was given. Space Pig liked
it. But then Space Pig got sick, and had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctor
said he would have to be flown to earth for emergency work. Space Pig was very
sick. The doctor said he would have to stay on earth for a long time. Solar
Snake was very sad not to be with him. So he went to earth. He had a hard time
finding Space Pig. He found Space Pig, but he also found out that he would have
to stay there for two years.
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Two years later...
Space Pig went to space. Solar Snake was very happy to see him. Then a strange
thing happened, and they had a snowstorm in space. The snow on the spaceport
was 14 feet deep. Space Pig used his snow blower to shoot the snow out into
space. Space Pig thought that they could play Careers. Solar Snake said, "We
could go sledding" Space Pig got $10,000,000 dollars in computer programming.
He won. Solar Snake wanted to play again. This time Space Pig went into politics.
He got a lot of fame, but Solar Snake got $30,000,000 dollars and 30 hearts
by using an experience card. He landed on pay. Space Pig wanted to go sledding.
Solar Snake went over the jump, and did a tremendous crash landing. CRASH! Space
Pig tried to do the same thing, but he was too fat to fit on the sled. Halfway
down the wing of the spaceport, he hit a huge lump of ice. That caused him to
go sliding through outer space, toward one of Saturn's rings. A chunk of rock
was headed straight for him. He pulled his jetpack out of his backpack, and
ZOOMED of towards the spaceport. Then he found Solar Snake. He was very glad.
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Solar Snake wanted to go somewhere. So Space Pig went with him. They thought
it would be fun to go to Uranus. It was a hard journey, but Uranus's sideways
rings were something to see. They had a great time. The problem on Uranus was
that there was almost no gravity. Because there was no gravity, everyone was
floating around. Solar Snake's tail flew up and hit Space Pig on the back. However,
Space Pig thought an alien from Uranus had attacked him. So he pulled his stun
gun out of his belt, and attempted to shoot his "enemy" Solar Snake slithered
out of the way. But he thought that an Uree had attacked him. Space Pig and
Solar Snake looked at each other. They realized that they were indeed surrounded
by 100 Furry Urees. The Urees began to shoot ice chunks at them. Their slingshots
shot them almost a mile. Solar Snake whipped out his trusty death ray blaster,
and fired at the Furry Urees. Space Pig used his stun gun to help win the battle.
They blasted off. Halfway back to the spaceport, they had a big surprise. A
Furry Uree had hidden in the toilet just before liftoff. They had never seen
a Furry Uree up close. This one was scared and crying. He needed LOTS of Kleenex,
because he had 3 eyes. He was a friendly Uree. He had an urgent message. The
space shuttle had blown up. Then they ZIPPED to the rescue. After the astronauts
had been delivered to spaceport, Space Pig and Solar Snake had to figure out
what to do with the Furry Uree. They thought about killing him, but they decided
that would be stupid. The Uree was getting hungry. He asked for some Sniggleflam
to eat. Since they did not have any, Space Pig changed course, so they could
get to the asteroid in-and-out, and get some Sniggleflam. While Space Pig looked
around the store, the Furry Uree stole 3 bags of Sniggleflam. The storeowner
went running after the Uree. The Uree transformed himself into a bird and flew
away. At least they did not have to worry about him any more.
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Then NASA assigned them to see why the space shuttle blew up. There was a hole
in the phosphorus that let the hot air in. The rapid expansion of the air caused
an explosion that shot through the space shuttle. They found this out by using
a snoglingnogling ray. Space Pig was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor
for solving the mystery. To receive the award he had to travel to Washington
D.C. and meet President Bush. President Bush said the Iraqis are causing such
a problem, the military needs help. Space Pig offered too position a space missile
device directly over Iraq, in order to blast Saddam Hussein. They zipped into
earth orbit, and started firing missiles. He aimed at Saddam Hussein. Space
Pig fired missile after missile. The entire city of Baghdad was destroyed.
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Now he was very hungry. The nearest Space-Wend was 2 galaxies away. It would
take all day to get there, unless they used they A.C.M.E. light ray of science.
They both got on the ray. It burned Space Pig's bottom, and Solar Snake could
not hold on. He fell off. Space Pig was already at Space Wend. He asked for
ice. When the space cow that owned Space Wend saw how badly Space Pig was burned,
he offered to let Space Pig lay in their spare ice chest. Space Pig jumped into
the chest. The ice melted instantly. He was so hot that the remaining water
turned to steam. He ordered 50 Jr. bacon cheeseburgers, and took them with him
to find Solar Snake. Solar Snake had floated 10 galaxies away. Space Pig did
not want to use the A. C. M. E. again and burn his bottom. So he decided to
travel in one of the mini-shuttles from the space port. When he got to the space
port, the commander said all the mini-shuttles were in use. Therefore, Space
Pig had to use his jet pack, and he burned his bottom. So he flew through the
solar system with his bottom on fire, searching for his dear friend. Meanwhile,
Solar Snake was drifting closer and closer and closer to the Sun. Space Pig
received a desperate message on his dial-com recorder. It was from Solar Snake.
"SOS! Nearing collision with Sun! Without a miracle, I'll be dead in one hour!"
Space Pig sent a message to Solar Snake's cousin, who was in the space port.
So he got in his spaceship and ZOOMED to save Solar Snake. Solar Snake was beginning
to get concerned. Solar Snake was starting to sweat! He feared he would die.
Solar Snake's cousin Speedy Snake was having a hard time getting to Solar Snake.
He could not get to Solar Snake because of the meteors. Then Solar Snake remembered
something. "My jet pack has solar panels!" he thought. "I can use them to charge
the battery." It charged very quickly because he was so close to the Sun. Just
in time, he zoomed away to the space port. When Solar Snake got back to the
space port, Speedy Snake sent a message to Space Pig. "Solar Snake is saved!"
So Space Pig went to Space Suite and had a nap.
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It was a windy day at the space port, so Solar Snake and Speedy Snake decided
to fly kites. They had gotten two $10 guaranteed kites at Space Mart. They went
out on top of the space port. They had three miles of string, so they were able
to catch the best solar breezes. Speedy Snake's kite was so fast that it got
tangled with an asteroid! Speedy Snake did not let go. It pulled him, hurtling
through space. Solar Snake lassoed an asteroid and zipped alongide him. And
when he could not convince him to let go he came over and cut Speedy Snake's
string. They found themselves drifting in the asteroid belt. Because their jet
packs' batteries were dead, they could not move. They started to drift out into
space. They drifted past Pluto, into another solar system, and landed on Viv.
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Except for one foot, Viv was completely covered with water. It was bigger than
Jupiter, making it have much more gravity. This made it impossible to swim.
So they put on their scuba diving gear. Meanwhile, Space Pig's jetpack had recharged
on solar energy. His Astro positioning system picked up Solar Snake's signal
and set a course to Viv. An hour later, Space Pig was hovering over the waters
of Viv. Up through the water, the snakes could see the flashing light on Space
Pig's jetpack. Space Pig did not know how to swim, but with the flip of a switch,
his jetpack became a submarine. He went down underwater to the snakes. They
went together and came upon a huge domed city underwater. There were some Vivollians
in the city; they were horrified. The Vivollians feared that the strangers had
come to blast a hole in their protective domed roof. So the Vivollians started
firing cruise missles at them. So Space Pig put up his protective shield to
block the missles. The Vivollins shot 300,000 bogey bombs at them. The shield
was splattered with Squeezy Cheese. Space Pig was no fool. He knew that free
Squeezy Cheese should never be wasted. He quickly drilled a hole in the shield
and put a vacuum tube through the hole and sucked all the Squeezy Cheese inside.
All of them started eating and soon all the Squeezy Cheese was gone. Space Pig
burped and sent a message to the Vivollians that said, "We are good." However,
the Vivollians did not speak his language. In their language, "we are good"
meant, "we have come to kill you." The Vivollians responded with more cruise
missles. So Space Pig shot cement into the Vivollians' missile deployment holes.
The cement hardened and the Vivollians realized that they were defenseless.
So they decided to make a peace treaty with Space Pig. On the way to sign the
peace treaty, they traveled over an underwater volcano. It erupted when they
were right above it. That caused them to shoot out of Viv's gravity field.
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It was a long trip back to the spaceport, so Solar Snake read to them out of
his favorite book. It was about a place where it rained juice and snowed food.
Space Pig said it would be fun to go there. While Solar Snake was reading, a
HUGE broccoli came zooming towards their viewing station. There would have been
a collision, but aimed the popgun at it and fired. The broccoli was knocked
off course. But it was so fat, that it came up right behind them. No one noticed
it. Meanwhile, in front of them, a giant ice cream was approaching. Off to the
right, a giant blob of Senegalese peanut sauce over rice was headed for them.
And off to the left, a mountain of caramel popcorn was coming. And under them,
a swamp of green bean casserole was approaching. A giant apple pie was above
them. Suddenly Space Pig had an idea! He reached out the window and grabbed
the ice cream, and said, "Good thing we have a giant freezer on board!" They
ate all of it on the way home. All of them BURPED. They all ate so much ice
cream that they fell asleep.
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And in their sleep, they drifted into Earth's gravity field and CRASHED in
Yellowstone. They were knocked out. When they came to, they rented an old Ford,
and bought a tent, and some food. They rented a campsite. Space Pig was the
cook, and he burnt the bacon, the eggs, the impossible cheeseburger pie, the
lasagna, the gooey butter cake, and the Batchelators. Finally, Solar Snake said,
"I'll do the cooking." He burnt everything, including the hot dogs. So, Speedy
Snake volunteered to do the cooking, and burnt everything, including the apple
pie. Space Pig began to cry. Apple pie was his favorite dessert, and it was
his birthday, and that was the last pie. He needed a cake, but how to get it?
Speedy Snake and Solar Snake knew his second favorite dessert was S'mores. Solar
Snake knew that tomorrow was his birthday. SO, he made marshmallows and crammed
it in a pan. Then they put two layers of Hershey's chocolate bars, and then
a layer of graham crackers. Then they threw it in the portable oven and let
it cool for forty minutes. Then they took it out and let it cool for 20 minutes.
Then they doused it with caramel, then they went to bed. Space Pig's birthday
was very good.
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Then they went outside and saw a toad. Luckily, Solar Snake had his book, "Pets
in a Jar" with him. Speedy Snake ran in and got a jar and got a jar and followed
the directions and got all the things it said the toad would need in the jar
and once the toad was in the jar, Solar Snake put a bunch of worms in. The toad
ate all the worms and BURPED! He took a drink of water and fell asleep. While
the toad slept, all of them got on their 18 speed bikes and rode down to a bubbling
mud pot. While they were gone, the toad got out and made friends with a turtle.
The toad and the turtle got into the S'mores supplies and ate the marshmallows,
the chocolate, and the graham crackers. They made a mess of everything else.
Once they were done, they went into the bathroom in the middle of the tent;.
But they ate so much that they had to poop again PLOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Again and
again. Eventually, the whole tent was covered in poop, but then they drank all
the soda and peed on everything. The turtle went home and the toad went back
into the jar.
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When they got back into the jar, Solar Snake fainted, Speedy Snake threw up,
AND Space Pig pooped, but he had diarrhea. The diarrhea went all over Solar
Snake and Speedy Snake. So Solar Snake and Speedy Snake went and dived into
the Yellowstone River, or so they thought. Instead of the Yellowstone River
they dived into a bubbling mud pot, Luckily Space pig was wearing a heat shield
and was able to save them. But while they were in the bubbling mud pot, all
of the poop was burned off, so once they were out, he threw the tent in. But
it was not heat-resistant, so it melted. They had to get another tent. And the
night they had S'mores. But Space Pig kept burning the marshmallows. They would
be golden brown, and he would be taking them out of the fire and then they would
catch on fire. So Space Pig said "I'll let someone else make the marshmallows".
So Speedy Snake said "I'll do the marshmallows if you and Solar Snake will go
and get the sleeping bags out of the tent". While Space Pig and Solar Snake
were in the tent, Speedy Snake heard a crunching in the woods. It was a HUGE
bear. Speedy Snake was terrified and he ran into the tent, thinking it would
give him protection from the bear. But Space Pig said "What protection does
this nylon give us?? That bear can smash this tent! We need to hide in different
places." However, that wouldn't work because there weren't enough hiding places.
So Solar Snake lit some firecrackers and threw them at the bear. The bear caught
one in his mouth and swallowed it. It blew up in his belly and he ran away.
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Solar Snake said, "Let's go back to Space." So they bought an M-14, and blasted
off for the spaceport. Once there, they found 3 season passes to Space City,
so they went to Space City and rode "Solar in the Hole." After that, they bought
some sniggleflam. After they were done eating, they rode "Sodor-ration" and
"Wild Super Nova." It traveled at speeds of over 3,000,001,53 mph and did loops.
Unfortunately, on 1 of the loops, SPACE PIG FELL OUT. So the manager of Space
City had to call a turbo ambulance, for when Space Pig fell, he landed on some
concrete and shattered his skull and snout bone. Once at the hospital, they
took X-rays, did surgery, and wired his skull together. They put a cast on his
snout. Then he had to stay in a hospital room for 5 days but Solar Snake brought
KFC for supper for him, and Braums Ice Cream for desserts. Space Pig burped!
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While Space Pig was recovering in the hospital, Speedy Snake and Solar Snake
were having the time of their lives. They were riding ThunderBolt, and going
around the spiral, it made Speedy Snake so dizzy that he had to pee. The pee
soaked everyone. Unfortunately, it acted like soap and Solar Snake slipped out.
Luckily, he landed in the popcorn truck and ate his way out, but Speedy Snake
fell out too, and landed in the cotton candy truck, and ate HIS way out, and
they both burped. The popcorn and cotton candy gave them a SUPER amount of ENERGY
and with that, they decided to ride Sprvongognvokw! This was the most fun ride
in Space City. They chose to ride it 7 times, and after that, they had apple
cinnamon bars and BURPED. After that, they left Space City, went to the spaceport,
and found a weird turtle laying blue eggs. They put it in the new aquarium.
Just after they got the turtle in, the hospital called and said "Space Pig is
healed and can go back."
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Space Pig came back. They fed the turtle and left in Space Pig's G55 to see a super nova. It took them two hours to get there, so they switched drivers and played Battle Ship. Space Pig was driving when an alien ship came out of nowhere and shot them with their tomato guns. One of the tomatoes shattered through a window and SMACKED Solar Snake in the face. Solar Snake was covered with tomato sauce, so he could not see. He started jumping and he hit the reverse button on the G-55. It sent them hurling backward into the other ship, BOOM!! Luckily, on Space Pig's ship, the back bumper was on. That caused them to bounce off of each other. The impact of the collision caused the alien's ship's entire cargo of tomatoes to explode. The result was a cloud of tomato over 2 galaxies. That gave the supernova highly flammable tomato juice to burn, making it much bigger. They got there, but could not get the brakes to work, and they ZOOMED toward the supernova. Just before impact, it want out, and they ZOOMED right through, where the star used to be. So they left and ZOOMED back to the spaceport and got supplies for another trip to planet ice in the cookies and cream galaxy. They had to get so many supplies because it was 100,035,297 miles away. (One of the things they brought was a giant freezer) When they got there, they started filling the freezer with ice cream. They got 300 tons of every flavor. (It was a VERY big freezer.) Then they started eating it.
To be continued…
This page was last updated on Friday, June 4, 2004